


Still Going

by dragonflybeach



Series: The Missing Moments [80]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode Related, Episode: s12e11 Regarding Dean, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, With a side of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-24 01:52:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9694559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonflybeach/pseuds/dragonflybeach
Summary: After Rowena reverses the spell, Dean and Sam deal by not dealing, as usual.





	

After Rowena reverses the spell, Dean is exhausted and Sam is mentally drained.

Sam asks random questions as he drives. Dean realizes that Sam is trying to make sure that   
Dean's brain is fully back online, so he doesn't tell him to shut up.

They make it 150 miles out of town before Sam decides to stop for the night.

It's barely late enough in the afternoon to convince the desk clerk to let them check in. Dean   
takes a nap while Sam drinks and stares at the tv, screen on but sound off.

When Dean wakes, they order a pizza, because he didn't feel like going anywhere and Sam isn't   
in any shape to go.

"I think you've had enough, Sammy." Dean says gently, but Sam isn't really making any effort to   
pour another drink anyway.

They watch a little bit of Edward Scissorhands, until the silent glances between them make   
clear that it isn't as funny as it used to be before they met the Steins. They skim through   
channels until they land on The Mummy, so they distract themselves by coming up with hilarious   
ways they would hunt the mummy and deal with the beetles.

Sam is fairly sober by the time they turn off the tv and say good night.

Dean isn't even surprised when Sam wakes up screaming an hour later.

The second time, Sam wakes whimpering.

The third time, when he starts whimpering, Dean climbs in bed with him, and manages to fold his   
brother up enough to tuck Sam's head under Dean's chin and murmurs soothingly while running his   
fingers up and down Sam's spine.

It works about the same as it did back when the kid was a foot and a half shorter and barely   
tipping 100 pounds and a helluva a lot easier to gather up in Dean's arms. First Sam snuggles   
up. His breathing starts to even out. Then after the shaking stops, he pushes Dean away and   
grumbles something about being fine.

Dean lets him go but doesn't get out of the bed. They have a rule that any conversations that   
happen in the dark like this stay in the dark, so Dean asks.

"Why are you taking this so hard? You came a lot closer to losing me two weeks ago, with the   
Billie deal."

"But I would have been in The Empty, waiting for you." Sam answers softly. "It wouldn't have   
been like this, watching you forget me, and then you die because you forget how to swallow or   
breathe or something."

"Do you seriously think I made that deal with Billie to get out by sacrificing you?" Dean asks   
him, shaking him gently. "You know better than that. I made the deal to get you out of there,   
so you could go home to Mom and Cas, and I would have been the one waiting in The Empty."

"But Mom and Cas are yours." Sam protests.

"What do you mean, they're mine? Cas is your friend too. Remember, he helped you track me down   
when I was a demon and saved your life the night you broke your shoulder. And maybe you've   
forgotten, but Mom is your mother too."

"She barely talks to me." Sam says softly. "She plays games and stuff with you. If she ever   
calls, she calls you, not me. And if you and I are both in a room, you're the one who has Cas'   
attention. How many times have we established that he comes when you call, not when I call,   
unless you're in danger. You're all I've got. It would have just made more sense for me to go   
with Billie and let you stay here and carry on with Mom and Cas."

"Sam, it's not like that." Dean puts both hands on Sam's face and looks him in the eye as much   
as possible, in the near total darkness of the room. "Cas and Mom would both be devastated if   
anything happened to you. And there's Jody, and what's her name, Eileen? She keeps in touch   
with you. And Witch Twin Dude. There are people who care about you, Sam. Yeah, I'm number one   
on the list, but there is a list."

Sam mumbles something, but whether it was acceptance or just something to get Dean to shut up   
isn't clear

He does, however, settle down and within a few minutes his breathing is deep and even again.

Dean stays in the bed beside him, ready in case the nightmares come for round 4.

Dean wonders, as he has so many times lately, if it's time for them to hang up the proverbial   
towel. They've both lived much longer than Dean ever expected. Maybe they owe it to one anohter   
to keep each other safe by getting out of the life. Of course, there's no way they would ever   
leave hunting completely. They could run research and verify aliases like Bobby used to. Sam   
might want to go back to school, although with the federal government on their asses, it's not   
like he could hold a job.

They would stay in the Bunker of course because there is so much shit out there that might come   
looking for them one day.

The next thing Dean knows, daylight is shining in his face and the bed shift when Sam rolls out   
and heads to the bathroom.

As he expects, nothing is said about the discussion during the night or the fact that Dean was   
still in Sam's bed come morning.

Sam is back to himself, farts just before leaving the bathroom to Dean and spends way too much   
time on his hair and grumbles about the only breakfast choices in the immediate vicinity being   
Waffle House and Huddle House, or as Sam calls them, Grease and Other Grease.

Dean thinks again about getting out, retiring and living out the rest of their days, because he   
knows he would never survive if anything were to happen to Sam. Last night once again proved   
that Sam feels the same way.

But this has been his life since he was four years old, and he has no idea how to not keep   
doing it.


End file.
